


Her Decision

by 18lzytwner



Series: Law & Order SVU First Series [2]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-29
Updated: 2013-10-16
Packaged: 2019-07-05 17:07:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 21,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15867978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/18lzytwner/pseuds/18lzytwner
Summary: Faced with a life altering decision, what does Olivia do? How does it affect her family and her world? When everything spirals out of control, she has to dig deep to protect everything she loves. T for now, may go to M for content.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This picks up where the last episode of Season 14 leaves off. I've adjusted it to fit my needs but I hope you like it. This path is a little darker than anything I've tried before so please be gentle. :)

It had been a long hard day and Olivia was thankful no one else was home when she slipped the key into the lock at the apartment. Calvin was at a sleepover and Elliot had promised to pick up Charlotte from Maureen's place on his way home from the office. He was working a little later on Friday so he didn't have to go in on Saturday. The case he was working could wait and he could tell by the tone of Olivia's voice when she called him to talk about her day. They had dealt with a lot of sickos in their day but this guy sounded like he took the cake.

Olivia set her groceries down on the counter and perked her head up at the noise she thought she heard. At first, she thought she was just jumpy and she was thinking a nice hot shower would fix that. It certainly wouldn't get William Lewis out of her head but the wine and seeing baby Charlotte would. Suddenly the hair on the back of her neck spiked. Looking out over the counter, there stood William Lewis.

"So there is so much more to Detective Olivia Benson than I thought," he smirked at her, the gun in his hand pointed toward her head.

"What are you doing here?" Olivia asked.

"Oh no, I get to talk and you get to listen. Now walk around the counter real slow and hand me your piece. I found the safe so don't even think of trying to go for your back up weapon," Lewis instructed. Olivia did as she was told, her mind racing. This guy was sick and he would stop at nothing to get what he wanted. What scared her more was the fact that Elliot and Charlotte would be walking into this situation blind. She did not want her baby anywhere near this freak.

"Thinking about little Charlotte? Wondering what time hubby will get home?" Lewis asked, seemingly knowing exactly where her brain was going as he shoved the end of the gun into her temple.

"I'm thinking how I can kill you," Olivia said, hoping he believed that he hadn't seen right through her.

"Always a hard-ass huh? Well we'll see about that when we're done having fun. Head toward Charlotte's room," he instructed. She knew what he was up to. Elliot's first thought would be to put Charlotte down for bed and he would head into her room; walking right into the sick bastard's hands.

"I'd give them about thirty minutes before they walk through the door. Plenty of time for us to get to know each other better," again there was that smirk and Olivia involuntarily shuddered. As much as she tried to hide her fear, she could not hide the fact that she knew exactly what his idea of fun was.

They drew closer to the baby's room and Olivia hoped that this was her opportunity. She quickly whirled around in the doorway, taking him by surprise. She immediately went for the gun knowing that if she didn't disarm him it was all over. He was only slightly taken aback and he still wore that stupid smirk on his face.

"I expected resistance but I also expected better from you," he said as they grappled over the weapon. Olivia knew the only reason he was cool as a cucumber was because he'd seen this before and always managed to come out on top.

"I'm not done yet," it was her turn to smirk as she used her dress shoes as a weapon and slammed her left foot into his instep. He buckled and she quickly disarmed the gun from his hand. However he had a backup plan as he pulled her backup weapon from his back.

"How'd you think this was going to end?" He asked.

"With you bleeding," Olivia spat.

"Momma tiger," Lewis chuckled. The situation wasn't any better than it had been a moment ago. Now that they were both armed, the only way to be safe was to shoot at each other and make sure the other didn't get back up.

"I had hoped that we'd be in time for hubby and baby but I still have one trick up my sleeve," Olivia gave him a look. He had an ace in the hole.

"What have you done?" She asked.

"I'll only tell you if you put the gun down. Otherwise, I'll go to my grave without telling you and I don't think you want that," Lewis said as he put the gun to his head.

"I put my gun down and this ends badly for me and my family," Olivia told him.

"Could be but aren't you forgetting something?" He asked. She looked at him confused.  _What was he talking about?_

"You did get that text message from your son right?" Lewis wanted to know.

"He said he made it to his friend's house," she refused to believe that after everything that had happened, Calvin wasn't safe.

"He's fiercely protective of you, you know. When I told him that you were in trouble and that his dad was having me escort him to the precinct, he asked to see my badge. I flashed him one and he relaxed just enough for me to tell him to send the message. It was coded, I told him. That way the person watching your phone would think that he wasn't already in police custody and safe. Then I brained him," the smirk was back and at that point, Olivia knew that he had her. If he died now, Calvin died with him.

"Now I'm going to give you a few seconds to mull it over before I blow my brains out. So which is it? Your son or the rest of your family?" Lewis asked.


	2. Chapter 2

Elliot approached the apartment door, glad to be home. Charlotte was happy as usual and he gave her a smile. It was hard to believe that they'd been parents to the little bundle of joy for four months now.

"You hungry baby girl?" He asked as he set the baby carrier down. She cooed.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'," he chuckled. Fishing for his keys, he opened the apartment door before scooping up the carrier and heading inside. Once inside, he set down the baby and locked the door. He liked the neighborhood but the safety of his family was more important. Looking around, he realized Olivia was nowhere to be seen. Usually she was waiting at the door for him. He carefully stood up and went for his weapon. He couldn't place the bad feeling he suddenly had and he and Olivia would laugh about it later, he was sure.

"Hey babe! We're home!" He shouted, looking around and noticing the groceries on the counter, not put away. He swallowed hard.

"Hey hun! I'm in Charlotte's room," the response came back. Now he knew something was up. Olivia never called him "hun". There were a lot of things she called him, some of them not for children consumption, but "hun" wasn't one of them. His senses shifted and it reminded him of what Olivia had often laughed and called "hyper-daddy mode". He was super alert and ready for anything.

"On our way," he tried to stay calm and made his way down the hall without Charlotte, hoping if he had to use his weapon it would be with the baby a safe distance away. Slowly he got close to the door and realized that it was only open a crack. Someone was behind the door. Smirking, Elliot took the opportunity to surprise whoever it was. He jumped at the door, hitting it with all the weight he could possibly put on it, and heard wood hit skull. His satisfaction was short lived as he realized his mistake. A soft moan, one he recognized, came from who had he thought was the perp. Olivia had been behind the door, the perp, who was sitting in the rocking chair, now stared at him and laughed as Olivia crumpled to the floor in a heap.

"Well that made life easier," he said.

"Who are you and what are you doing in our apartment?" Elliot asked, not lowering his weapon.

"Your wife knows who I am and what I'm capable of. I think perhaps when she regains what little sanity she has left, I'll let her tell you. Now why don't you lower that gun of yours before I do something we both regret?" Lewis raised Olivia's weapon and pointed it at her.

"How do I know you won't shoot me the instant I lower my weapon?" Elliot asked trying to buy time, trying to figure out a way out of this.

"Well I suppose that's a chance you'll have to take. After all, how could I possibly control two NYPD detectives? Seasoned after years of experience?" Lewis smirked and it was then that he knew why Olivia had been under this perp's command. He had something that she would rather die for than let harm come to. He had Calvin.

"What have you done?" Elliot asked him.

"You have three seconds to lower your weapon or I put a bullet in her. Mind you, I'm a good shot and I will make her suffer," Lewis's tone never changed, it was flat and unmoving. Elliot looked at him. This would probably be their only opportunity for escape.

"One…" He had to save Olivia. After everything they'd been through, now was not the time to fail her.

"Two…" On the other hand a shot would bring someone's attention to their predicament and help would be on its way.

"Three." Lewis pulled the trigger and Elliot jumped in front of the bullet.


	3. Chapter 3

The move confused Lewis as both he and Elliot knew that the detective was not fast enough for the bullet to strike him but then again the detective wasn't looking for the bullet to strike him. As he fell to the ground, Elliot fired a shot into Lewis's left kneecap effectively stopping him from moving from the chair. Lewis howled in pain and dropped Olivia's gun. Elliot quickly stood up, kicked Olivia's gun out of the way, and pushed the business end of his nine millimeter into Lewis's temple.

"Where is Calvin?" He demanded.

"It does me no good to tell you," Lewis smirked. Elliot proceeded to move his weapon and fire another round into the man, this time disabling his right kneecap.

"I'm going to ask you one more time. Where is Calvin?" The detective asked.

"And I thought I was the sadist," Lewis laughed at him through his pain.

"Elliot…" Olivia's voice barely reached him as it came from her position on the floor. He looked at her to see a pool of blood forming. He turned back to Lewis and shouted,

"Tell me dammit!" Lewis just smirked and refused to say anything. Not happy with where this was going, Elliot pistol whipped him. Screw the case, his adopted son was in trouble. Lewis fell out of the chair, moaning, and Elliot quickly cuffed him. Moving to Olivia, he pulled out his cell phone and called it in.

"This is Detective Elliot Stabler. I have a ten-thirteen at my location," he said to the dispatcher giving his address as he carefully rolled Olivia over onto her back.

"Oh God…" he murmured.

"A bus and backup is already on the way. We had a call from your neighbor. They should be there any minute. Where is the perp?" The dispatcher asked him.

"Be advised that I have the perp in custody," Elliot said, as he fumbled with his shirt.

"I'll alert the officers. What is the condition of the officer in trouble?" The dispatcher wanted to know.

"GSW to the stomach, head trauma, and… I… Elliot trailed off. He wasn't sure what Lewis had done to her, other than the obvious bruising.

"Let's just stay focused on that GSW," the dispatcher hoped he wasn't losing Elliot. The detective put his phone down, finished removing his shirt, and quickly pressed it to the wound.

"Stay with me baby, please, stay with me," he begged. Then he heard Charlotte cry and the dispatcher started saying something but he couldn't hear it. Everything was falling down around him and he started praying to God that someone would get there soon.

"I've got you Liv, stay with me. Stay with me," he saw how much blood was soaking his shirt and he wondered if Lewis hadn't planned the shot. He claimed his was good and he'd make Olivia suffer but she was bleeding too quickly. In her crumpled up position Lewis must have miscalculated.

"Stabler?! We're coming in!" The sound of the backup arriving elated him and he leaned down and told Olivia that help was here.

"We're in here!" He shouted. In moments, Amaro and Fin busted into the room.

"Son of a bitch!" Amaro said upon seeing Lewis cuffed and bleeding on the floor.

"He's got Calvin somewhere," Elliot told them as Fin rushed over to help check Olivia out.

"Where is the bus?" He asked turning to Fin.

"The paramedics were right behind us. What did he do to her?" Fin wondered if Elliot knew who the perp was.

"I don't know but…" he was interrupted by the paramedics rushing in. They pushed Elliot and Fin out of the way before beginning to work on Olivia.

"Where is Charlotte?" Elliot suddenly began to panic as the amount of people rushing into the apartment.

"Rollins has her. Don't worry. We got the call from the Captain just before we were leaving the bar. We got here as fast as we could," Fin explained.

"I know," Elliot told him. The paramedics shifted Olivia onto a gurney and quickly left the apartment. Elliot chased after them and the SVU squad promised to check in with him later.

"All right asshole, you're mine," Amaro said as he hauled Lewis to his feet. The wounded man laughed at him despite the severe amount of pain he was in.

"He needs to get to a hospital," one of the paramedics, who had been checking out Charlotte, said.

"Oh he'll get there, right after he tells us what he did with Calvin," Fin said, shoving the paramedic out of the room and closing the door. The medic tried to get back in but Rollins stopped him.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," she told him.

"But…"

"Not a good idea," she shook her head.

"Let him go Rollins," Captain Cragen said as he walked through the apartment door.

"But Cap, it was Lewis. He's got Calvin," she argued. The Captain didn't respond he just went to the door of the baby's room, he was about to shake Amaro and Fin out of there when the door opened and they came dragging the perp out.

"He's got Calvin in an old warehouse not far from here," Fin said.

"Get him to the hospital and make sure he's secure," the Captain told the uniforms that were standing nearby.

"Fin, Amaro, Rollins, with me," Cragen said as he headed out the door. He'd be damned if Lewis was going to hurt Calvin.


	4. Chapter 4

"We should be waiting for backup," Rollins said as they pulled up to the warehouse and exited their vehicle.

"Munch called it in. They'll be here soon," Fin pointed out. Both of them were glad when the older detective promised to look after Charlotte and call in the backup, instead of coming with them. He was headed over to the hospital to stay with Elliot, who at this point was slowly falling to pieces waiting to hear about Olivia's condition after she was rushed into surgery.

"I'm just saying, Lewis has been ahead of us this whole time. Who knows if he's booby trapped the place?" She wasn't wavering in her convictions she worried that they could get somebody killed.

"She's right, we should wait for backup but we have no idea what he's done to Calvin and I don't think we can wait anymore. He only had Olivia for a short period of time and look what happened," Amaro spoke up.

"Amaro you're with me, we'll take the front door. Rollins, Fin, look for another way into the building. We have a lot of ground to cover," Cragen said before radioing that they were headed inside and that the backup should know what was going on. They all pulled out their weapons and split up.

"You think he's done something to Calvin?" Amaro asked when he and the Captain were alone.

"Well it definitely departs from his MO but Olivia got inside his head and he didn't like it. My guess is that this guy is even sicker than we thought," Cragen hated thinking that way but he feared he was right. Moving through the seemingly empty building, the two called out for Calvin but got no response. Nick's mind immediately went to the worst case scenario. They'd checked out Lewis' story. Calvin never arrived at his friend's house. The text messages were on Olivia's phone. Why would he lie about whether Calvin was dead or alive? They already had him on two counts of kidnapping and one count of assaulting a police officer, he was going to jail. Although if they never found Calvin's body, there could be no murder charge and he'd be out of prison someday. Shaking the thought from his head, he called out Calvin's name again. If this had been one of his kids he knew exactly what he would do and he had no doubt that Elliot would do that same.

"Why haven't we found him yet?" Nick asked as the Captain lowered his weapon. The first floor of the building was a wide open floor plan, with high ceilings. There was only one room and Rollins and Fin had found it empty. The stairs to the upper floors were in poor shape and the thought of anyone stepping on them made them nervous.

"We should have at least heard him right?" Rollins was trying to be positive but she knew the longer Calvin stayed missing the worse the chances got.

"I'm going upstairs," Nick said resolutely.

"Let's try the fire escape out back then," Fin pointed out, "it looked like it was in better shape."

"I'll stay down here in case you flush someone out of hiding," Cragen said, making them all realize that perhaps the deviation in MO was due to the fact that Lewis had had help. It wasn't uncommon for him to have it and then kill the person when the task was complete. Shaking the thought of the possibility of finding two bodies, Fin, Rollins, and Amaro, headed outside and climbed up the fire escape.

Sweeping the second floor offices and finding them empty, they headed up to the third floor and it too was empty. There was no sign that anyone had been there in a long while as the inches of dust on the floors and walls were not disturbed.

"We've been played," Fin cursed under his breath.

"What does screwing with us prove?" Nick asked.

"That he's smarter than us," Rollins shook her head.


	5. Chapter 5

Elliot paced back and forth in the hospital waiting room. Olivia was still in surgery and he worried that the shot had done more damage than he'd originally assumed. Of course maybe once they got the bleeding stopped they found other things they had to worry about. He tried to push that thought out of his head. She'd been fully clothed. Perhaps nothing overly bad happened. The bruises he saw on her face would prove otherwise but if he didn't stay positive about the whole situation he was going to literally fall apart. Things were finally great and this just couldn't destroy the birth of Charlotte or Calvin's adoption. Calvin. What was he going to tell Olivia?

"Munch," the older detective answered his cell phone despite the nurses giving him dirty looks from across the room.

"I'll tell him. I know. As soon as I know something, I'll call. Thanks," Munch finished the phone call and turned to Elliot who had momentarily stopped his pacing.

"That was the Captain," he started, not sure how to say what he had to say.

"They have Calvin?" Elliot asked, hoping and praying that Munch's tone was hiding how he felt.

"Calvin was not where Lewis said he was. He played us," John gave it to him straight. At this point, Elliot clenched his fists.

"Don't even think about going after Lewis to get the info. He's going to want his attorney. Barba is on his way here. He wants this on the up and up. We only get one more crack at him," Munch told him.

"While we follow procedure, my son is out there suffering from God knows what. I can't sit by and do nothing," Elliot spat.

"You can and you will; it's a direct order from a superior officer. You're off the case and I've been instructed to keep you that way. Olivia needs you here when she gets out of surgery. Charlotte needs you here because she needs your help. The team and the Captain will find Calvin. They are the best at what they do," Munch got in his face. At this point Elliot collapsed into the chair next to him. He was angry, really angry, and logic was not going to work for him.

"I know what you're thinking. I've seen that look Stabler. Don't make me shoot you," Munch knew physically he could never take Elliot on so he would have to use any force necessary to stop him from doing something stupid. Olivia was the only one capable of calming him down.

"Yes please Detective I would hate to charge Sergeant Munch with shooting a police officer," ADA Barba joined them after stopping at the nurses' desk. It wasn't hard to guess what was going on between them, especially since Munch had subconsciously moved his hand to where his holster was.

"You had better fry the bastard or I will," Elliot stood up and he was right in Barba's face.

"What did Olivia see in you anyway?" Barba asked. He hadn't had many dealings with Stabler since everyone found out he was still on the force. The occasional bump in when he stopped by the precinct to talk about a case and Elliot was waiting for Olivia. Elliot stood up the rage on his face was plain as day and he was about to do or say something stupid.

"Sit down and shut-up Stabler," Munch ordered as he saw the Detective's fists clench.

"Look, you may not like me and you may not care what I have to say but you will do as you're told because I'll not be the one to tell Olivia you screwed up this case. You got it? We nail this bastard my way and he won't be getting out of prison," The fiery ADA told him. Munch chuckled on the inside for fear of getting his bell rung. Barba was a good guy and he could be a little brusque but that is what Elliot needed right now.

"Now, I'm going to see Lewis as they tell me his attorney is already here," Barba explained.

"Can't you call the Bar on his lawyer? I mean they did seem a little too close, if you get my drift," Munch spoke up.

"Oh I intend to threaten, don't worry. I want to play it close to the vest until I have better proof or at least some way to embarrass him in court," Barba smirked and took his leave of the two men and the baby.

Just then the surgeon exited the emergency doors and Elliot forgot all about Barba. He stood up and the doctor made his way over to him.

"I'm Doctor Stevenson. Are you her husband?" He asked.

"Yes, I am. How bad is it Doctor?" Elliot wanted to know.

"I'm assuming you're the detective helping with the case?" Stevenson skipped over the question.

"One of the many," Munch said.

"All right then you can come with me," the doctor was still being cryptic and the two of them weren't sure what that was all about. If Olivia was in bad shape, he'd have come right out and said something right?

They followed him down the hall and into a little room where there were x-rays on the wall. The two detectives looked at each other hoping they weren't Olivia's.

"Detective Benson suffered major damage to her ribcage and internal organs. What I am most concerned about is the bullet that was partially lodged in her spine," Stevenson paused and Elliot practically fell down.

"What happened Doc?" Munch asked.

"The best guess is that the bullet entered her stomach, cut through her internal organs, and stuck in her spinal column. The good news is that we have her all stitched up and that her broken ribs will heal. The better news is that the bullet wasn't lodged very deeply having lost momentum by the time it got there. The swelling around her vertebrae is such that we can't tell if she can move her lower limbs just yet. It will take a few days but with any luck she'll be able to regain every normal function. We may need to go in and stabilize the region after the swelling goes down but we won't know if that's absolutely necessary until we see what her range of motion is. We've got a specialist coming in from Buffalo. He's handled spine trauma similar to this before and he should be able to figure out what the next step is. In the meantime we are following his instructions to the letter," Stevenson explained.

"How bad are the other injuries?" Elliot asked.

"She had severe bruising from what appeared to be fists. Her kidneys are bruised and we removed the spleen. She has four broken ribs, one of which punctured a lung. Whoever did this was very angry and very methodical. He intended to make her suffer," the doctor said.

"Was she sexually assaulted?" Munch hated to ask but he had to.

"Not as far as I can tell. We're having the nurses check her over now but it appears that most of the damage was sustained with her clothes still on. Either way I am calling in a therapist. She will need to be mentally evaluated due to her trauma," the surgeon told them.

"When can I see her?" Elliot wanted to know.

"Give the nurses at least another thirty minutes. I'll send someone for you," Stevenson gave a slight smile and it was then that Charlotte started to cry.

"Somebody's hungry aren't they?" Munch gave a smile and he quickly exited the room to find the diaper bag that Rollins had grabbed from the apartment. Elliot thanked the doctor and headed back to join Munch.

There he found Barba talking with him. No doubt Munch was filling him in on all the gory details.

"I want an APB put out for his former attorney, Vanessa Mayer, on the double," Barba said as Elliot approached.

"I'll call the Captain," Munch nodded.

"What's going on?" Stabler wanted to know.

"Vanessa Mayer is no longer Lewis' attorney. Her replacement says that she didn't show up for work this morning and no one could reach her at home. They were just about to send someone to her apartment to see what was up. I'm having Munch get police over there right away," the ADA explained.

"Another victim of Lewis?" Elliot wondered.

"Or she has Calvin," Barba said.


	6. Chapter 6

"Police! Open up!" Fin yelled at Vanessa Mayer's door. Silence was his only answer and he smirked before nodding to the SWAT Team Leader to break down the door. Quickly he, Rollins, Amaro, and the team of officers sent with them searched the apartment.

"Clear!"

"Clear!"

"Clear!"

"Damn!" Fin shook his head. The place was completely void of any humans. The cat gave them a look before running for cover.

"She isn't here and I don't think she'll be coming back either," Amaro called from the bedroom. Quickly Rollins and Fin joined him and looked upon the scene there. The closet was half empty and dresser drawers were laid out on the bed.

"She took off. For her own safety or because she's got to handle Calvin?" Rollins asked.

"I have no idea," Amaro shook his head.

"We have to search this place for clues. There is something in this apartment that will lead us to Calvin or at least to finger Lewis in something," Fin told them. Quickly they split up and went through the apartment. Rollins gathered up the cat in its carrier and some of its toys and food.

"What you going to do with that?" Fin asked, knowing that with Frannie at home, the cat would be dead meat.

"I want this guy dusted prints or swabbed or whatever it is you need to do. There is what looks like blood on his back paws," Rollins said, handing the cat to the CSI on the scene.

"Blood?" Amaro asked.

"That's what it looks like and it's my guess that Vanessa didn't leave here to save her own ass either," Rollins pointed to the kitchen and the two detectives followed her into the room.

"If you label your pet food for what day of the week when Fluffy gets his expensive cat food and you have a little corner of the room all decked out for him, you don't leave him behind," she said.

"This lady is crazy," Fin shook his head.

"Before or after she met Lewis?" Amaro wondered. Fin shrugged and noticed the phone attached to the wall. He scooped up a pad of paper that was on the counter.

"We better dump her phone records and take this to forensics," he said.

"Hopefully this leads somewhere otherwise we have to try to get it out of Lewis which isn't the easiest thing to do," Rollins sighed. The group then split up and got back to looking for more clues.

Later at the hospital, Elliot was sitting with Olivia in the ICU. She had yet to regain consciousness and the nurse said that she didn't expect her to for a while as the treatment prescribed by the specialist required an ice bath. The bath was keeping Olivia's core temperature just above the hypothermia level in an effort to corral the major swelling occurring at her spine. The machines beeped and whirred but other than that silence reigned in the room.

Munch had Charlotte out in the waiting room and he was running updates and receiving them from the team in the field.

"All right, thanks Captain. I'll tell Elliot. No, she hasn't woken up yet. The doctors are having a specialist coming in. Yeah I'll let them know you're thinking and doing the best you can. Let you know of any updates," Munch said before hanging up.

"Sir, this is a hospital. You need to go outside if you are going to use your cell phone," the nurses had finally had enough.

"I am Sergeant Munch with the NYPD. Olivia Stabler is a detective under my command. I just got off the phone with my Captain. You want me to explain to him why he couldn't talk to me and relay important information about the case because I had to go outside to take my phone calls? You want me to tell him I had to put his goddaughter in someone else's hands so I could take a phone call?" It was the first time Munch was showing any emotion and he immediately regretted taking it out on the nurse.

"I didn't realize you were so close to the detective," she said.

"I'm sorry it's just that I've worked with her for fourteen years and we've handled a lot of perps but never anyone like this," he gave a slight smile.

"That man they brought in with her?" The nurse asked.

"The guy with the knee problems, yeah," Munch nodded. She nodded and the look on her face said to him that something was up.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"He's been real flirty with the nurses. It's not that we don't get that occasionally but he's just…"

"Creepy," Munch finished.

"Yeah, creepy," she nodded.

"Watch out for yourselves and if he gives you any trouble, you call for the officers outside his door," he told her. She nodded and then left him alone. Despite everything that had happened and his obvious fate, Lewis was still being disgusting.

"Sergeant Munch," Barba said as he approached him.

"ADA Barba, back so soon," Munch gave him a questioning look.

"Jack McCoy wants me to keep pressuring him for answers. His new lawyer has played ball so far but I was wondering if I could borrow you for a moment," Barba asked.

"To do what?" Munch asked.

"I want you to help me make Lewis think we have Vanessa. I want you to help make it believable. If he thinks the game is up, he might spill information," the ADA told him.

"He played hypotheticals last time," Munch said.

"Yes but hypotheticals might be all we need. The writing pad that forensics is analyzing is taking longer than they thought and the longer we put off the more than likely chance something bad happened to Calvin. The substance that Rollins found on the cat was blood," Barba said.

"So Calvin could have been in her apartment?" Munch was shocked.

"Yes I think so and I think the reason that Vanessa left her cat behind was because she was hoping to leave a clue," the ADA posited.

"Not much of one besides why would she help us now?" Munch asked.

"Because she knows what happened to the last woman who tried to help Lewis," Barba pointed out.


	7. Chapter 7

"Miss Hardgrove, I certainly hope that your client is willing to discuss with us further the details of the crimes in light of what has happened," Barba walked into Lewis' room with Munch in tow and the lawyer gave him a look.

"What happened?" Hardgrove wanted to know.

"Simply that we discovered Vanessa and Calvin. Well I guess it isn't as simple as that," the ADA told them.

"What's not so simple?" Lewis asked.

"Well we the detectives tried to take Vanessa into custody she resisted," Munch smirked.

"So you've come to tell me that she isn't talking," Lewis gave him a look.

"I'm afraid she won't be talking for a very long time. You see she forced the officers to defend themselves and well…" Barba started.

"It'll be a closed casket," Munch finished. They were hoping for some sort of reaction but they didn't get one.

"Do you suppose you could charge him with her murder?" Munch added.

"How do you mean?" Barba asked.

"Well the gun that Vanessa had certainly didn't come from thin air. My bet is that he gave her the gun to scare Calvin with, only problem was, she was so afraid of him torturing her, she rather have the police end it for her," Munch made the supposition and Barba smirked.

"I can't get him for murder but that doesn't mean I can't find something else to add. Maybe manslaughter," the ADA said.

"Gentlemen, aren't you getting a little ahead of yourselves?" Hardgrove asked.

"How so? After all, he beat an NYPD detective within an inch of her life, shot her, and kidnapped the rest of her family all at gunpoint. You don't think the jury will eat it up if I explain the tragic circumstances behind Vanessa's death?" Barba wanted to know.

"Why would they believe you?" Lewis asked.

"How can they not? Detective Benson has a spinal injury and if she can never return to her job, the jury will certainly love the fact that the brave officer in a wheelchair is giving testimony. Also she can mention your inappropriate behavior during the trial for what happened to poor Alice Parker…" the sentence hung there and Barba gave Lewis a look. The man stayed stoic and that's when Hardgrove stepped in again.

"Give me a few minutes with my client. Are you willing to plead down anything?" She asked.

"Only the kidnapping charge of Calvin, the rest would not sit well with the NYPD, my boss, or even me," he said. Hardgrove nodded and the two men left the room.

"You think it worked?" Munch asked once out in the hallway.

"I hope so, otherwise…" the ADA trailed off. Munch's phone buzzed and he quickly answered it. The conversation was brief and Barba wondered what he got out of it when the detective hung up.

"Fin says they got a lead off the pad of paper. The location is a cabin up in the woods, north of the city, inside Taconic State Park near the Copake Falls area. Local police and the team on their way," Munch told him.

"I hope there is nothing but good news," Barba said.

"Me too," Munch heaved a sigh and then scooped up Charlotte's baby carrier and headed for the nurses' station, hoping to talk to someone about Olivia's condition.

"The specialist is in from Buffalo and he's talking to Detective Stabler now," the nurse smiled.

"Can you let me know when he's done, I need to discuss the case," Munch told her.

"Of course, I'll let them know," she smiled and Munch plunked himself back down in the waiting room, hoping that there was good news all the way around.


	8. Chapter 8

Elliot listened to all the specialist had to say and he spent a lot of the time thinking how they got into this situation in the first place.

"Detective Stabler? Are you still with me?" Dr. Cappacino asked.

"Sorry, I just… it's a lot to take in," Elliot admitted.

"It is but your wife is very healthy and I hardly expect there to be any complications but you really must remember something that I stress to my patients, I can perform surgery, I can run every imaginable test, do everything medically imaginable, but if you don't want to walk again, you won't. As I said before, Olivia sounds like a very strong person so I have no doubt that she does want to walk again. With any luck, surgery won't be necessary but until that swelling goes down, I 'm afraid I can't give you more answers," the doctor smiled.

"Olivia definitely wants to walk doctor believe me. She has two kids she absolutely adores and she has a job that she's the best at and I know she would never give them up unless she was dead," her husband told him.

"I treated a young man with much the same principles. Beautiful wife and family, job he loved…" the doctor trailed off.

"What happened?" Elliot wanted to know.

"He was tackled and he damaged his spinal cord in his neck. The surgery was successful as it could have been. Therapy was painful but he continues to work through it. He can walk, he can talk, and he can hold his children but I could not restore the ability to play the game," the doctor sighed. Elliot guessed that the doctor was probably more upset with himself than the former player was at losing the ability to play football.

"Olivia doesn't play football Doc," he pointed out.

"No, she doesn't but she does chase after criminals. Jumps out of vehicles, runs down sidewalks, and breaks down doors. All this has to be considered when we're dealing with a high impact area of the spine," Cappacino said. Elliot nodded. The long term effects could well last after the whole trauma was over. Between the physical and emotional damage there was a lot that they would have to deal with and the possibility of Olivia being forced to desk duty for the remainder of her twenty year career would probably hurt the worst of all.

"How much longer for the ice bath?" Elliot wanted to know.

"I will certainly let you know. In the meantime, you best get some sleep. She's going to need you when she wakes up," Cappacino smiled. Elliot gave a slight chuckle. As if he could sleep right now. Olivia was in trouble, Calvin was out there somewhere with some crazy guy's former attorney, and Munch was looking after Charlotte. That last one wasn't so bad but he was frazzled at his family being pulled apart. With any luck, some good news would be coming soon.

Fin, Rollins, and Amaro pulled up to the Ranger Station at the branch of Taconic State Park where the Park Police along with the local police department were gearing up to take the cabin.

"The cabin is registered to a Vanessa Lewis. Is she the one you're looking for?" Park Police Officer Stevens asked.

"Lewis? She marry the guy?" Amaro wondered.

"You never know what you'll do when you're faced with the possibility of being tortured and killed," Rollins pointed out.

"She should be Vanessa Mayer but my guess it's her," Fin said as he quickly described her to the officer.

"Sounds like her and she had a boy with her, you say?" He wanted to know.

"Yes, Calvin, Detective Benson's adopted son," Fin handed him a photo.

"That's the one we got from your Captain. I hope you're right and he's in there. Especially since we just got a call saying the blood they found on that cat was a type match to Calvin," the officer said.

"Good God," Amaro looked like he was about to snap.

"I want to brief everybody before we go charging in there. If we get Calvin hurt…" he trailed off. The three detectives looked at each other. They couldn't let that happen.

"My guess is Detective Benson would probably kill all three of you, with that look you just gave each other. She'd probably know how to do it so they never found you either," Stevens had a chuckle at their expense before calling for quiet in the room.

"The suspect Vanessa is possibly a victim herself so we need to proceed with caution. She probably doesn't want to hurt Calvin but she thinks she has no choice. We highly doubt she knows the man responsible for her fear is in the hospital under the watchful eyes of some officers. That being said, if she is cornered, she may do something stupid. Let us try to negotiate first," Fin explained.

"And if she starts taking pot shots at us?" An Officer asked.

"The primary objective is to retrieve Calvin safely. We have no way of seeing inside the cabin except from the windows right?" Rollins wanted to know.

"There is no second point of entry. The front door is the only way in and out so the opportunity to sneak in gear is not very good," Stevens explained.

"We want to be careful. We have to assume that she is going to be able to see us coming. Now let's get out there and resolve this thing safely," Fin finished up and everyone piled out of the Ranger Station and into their vehicles.

"I hope you're right and we can get Calvin safely," Rollins looked worried and it was a little off-putting for her partner.

"I know we can," he gave a slight smile. Ever since she took a bullet for him, he'd noticed a slight change in her behavior. They'd been partners for a little while now but he could tell that she feared for his safety, maybe a little more than she should. Not that he didn't want the attention, that wasn't it, but he didn't want her doing something crazy either. Their relationship was just starting to get interesting and he didn't want it to end prematurely.

"So how do you want to do this?" Amaro asked, breaking the uneasy tension that had shrouded the car.

"I think it's best to announce who we are and why we're here. She may give up when she hears the place is surrounded," Fin said. Amaro relaxed slightly in the back seat. He worried that it wasn't going to be as easy as Fin had made it sound.

They pulled up the driveway the cabin and quickly everyone piled out of their vehicles. Fin got the bull horn out of the car and started the conversation with,

"Vanessa this is Detective Tutuola of the NYPD. Come out with your hands up and we'll end this." It was at that point that Fin saw movement inside the cabin. One of the windows facing him opened.

"You know I can't do that. Billy… he'll…" she trailed off.

"Lewis is in police custody at the hospital. Detective Stabler gave him what for," Fin explained.

"How can I be sure you're telling the truth? I know what happens to people who don't do as he wants," Vanessa said.

"That's why we're here. We're here to make sure that you can go home and be safe. You can help us convict Lewis," Fin told her.

"Attorney-client privilege," she pointed out.

"Broken the minute he got a new lawyer and started talking deal to ADA Barba," the detective said. It wasn't entirely true. As far as he knew, Munch and Barba were still hoping for some sort of confession.

"He has a new lawyer? Do they know what happens when they don't listen to him?" She asked.

"I don't think so but only you can tell us. We found your clues. We have Fluffy. We just want everyone to be safe," Fin pleaded, hoping he was getting through to her.

"Is Fluffy ok?" Vanessa wanted to know.

"The lab techs love him and they are taking good care of him," Fin told her.

"All right. I want to give myself up but I need to believe that Billy is in custody," Vanessa was obviously nervous.

"I can get my Captain on the line to tell you or ADA Barba. Anything you need but you need to let me know how Calvin is doing," the detective said.

"He's fine. A bump on the head and a cut on his finger," Vanessa smiled slightly.

"Can I talk to him?" Fin wanted to know. There was silence followed by scuffling.

"Uncle Fin?" The voice was thin as if he'd not spoken in a while.

"I'm here bud. We're going to work this out, I promise," he told the scared kid.

"Put ADA Barba on the phone and then we'll both come out," Vanessa said. That's when Officer Stevens interrupted.

"There's no cell service out here," he whispered to Fin.


	9. Chapter 9

Fin had this look on his face that conveyed his disbelief. In this day and age it was hard to go anywhere without cell reception and it seems that the reason the park was so full was because people needed a break. It was probably the reason the Lewis chose it as well.

"We can get someone on the radio and you can use the bull horn to amplify it," Officer Stevens suggested.

"We'll never get the Captain on the radio. Anybody have a satellite telephone?" Rollins asked.

"Let me radio the station and see," Stevens said.

"Vanessa, there is no cell reception up here. My guess is that Lewis picked this place so you couldn't call for help. You have to believe what I say is true. We will do everything we can to protect you," Fin called out to the distressed woman.

"You have no way of contacting anyone? Why do I not believe you?" Vanessa replied.

"We're working on getting a satellite phone but that may take some time. You can't hole up in there forever. What happens when you have to go to the bathroom?" Fin wanted to know.

"We'll be fine. Besides you're going to get that phone within the next thirty minutes or I start shooting at people," Vanessa told the group of police outside her window.

"You don't want to die do you? I know Calvin wants to see his mom and his dad again. Don't you want to see yours? What about Fluffy? If you die, he goes to the SPCA," Fin reminded her, hoping to strike a chord.

"Thirty minutes, or I start doing something stupid," and with that the window closed, literally.

"Get that phone and quick. We all know how a tactical situation would end," Fin said.

"The only way I want that happening is if they carry me out first," Rollins shook her head. Stevens returned to the group and explained that they had one at the station and they were bringing it up to the cabin but that the battery was not in good shape.

"You'd get one shot. Some idiot didn't recharge it," Stevens shook his head.

"We can charge it in the car. She's given us thirty minutes," Fin explained.

"Then I hope that your Captain can convince her. Otherwise it won't be good," Stevens said. They all knew he was right and were hoping that the phone worked long enough to do what it needed.

At the hospital, Elliot was pacing again as he'd been removed from Olivia's side so that the ice bath could be removed. She then had to be slowly warmed up without causing shock to her system. He hadn't been still despite what John was trying to get him to focus on something else.

"Why haven't we heard about Calvin?" Elliot suddenly asked.

"These things take time, you know that," Munch said.

"They only take time if things go wrong. When Olivia wakes up what am I going to say?" The father part of Elliot was struggling with what to do. His kids had had their share of troubles but this had taken the cake.

"We'll hear soon I'm sure," John tried to be reassuring. Just then he phone went off and he quickly picked it up.

"Captain, any news?" Munch asked. Elliot couldn't hear the other end of the conversation but he very much wanted to know what the two were talking about. Then just as quickly as the conversation had started it had ended.

"Well?" Elliot wanted to know.

"Calvin is in Fin's custody. They're having him checked out at the local hospital and then they are going to bring him here. In the meantime, Rollins and Amaro are bringing in Vanessa Mayer. She's spilling everything," Munch explained.

"Everything?" Elliot gave him a look.

"Apparently. Rollins and Amaro will get all the details and then share soon, I'm sure. Meantime, you'll have good news to give Olivia," John smiled.

"That's great," Elliot heaved a sigh of relief. Calvin was safe and now all the remained was nailing Lewis to the wall and getting Olivia home.  _Home._

"We may have a very large problem," Elliot said suddenly.

"Besides the other ones you mean?" John asked.

"The apartment is a crime scene," his friend pointed out. Never mind that fact but the fact that there was a very good chance that neither he nor Olivia would ever want to step foot into that place again.


	10. Chapter 10

Calvin looked out the window as the car moved down the interstate heading for the city. He'd been extremely quiet and Fin didn't want to press it. He wasn't exactly sure what was going through the teenager's head but he knew that he hadn't helped by not being able to give him a full medical update on his adoptive mother.

"She's going to be ok right?" Calvin asked suddenly.

"You know your Mom; Stubborn Mama Bear. You never have to worry about that," Fin smirked.

"She got hurt because of me didn't she?" He wanted to know.

"Cal, you have to know that whatever happens, none of this was your fault. You did everything your Mom and Dad taught you to do," Fin immediately felt bad. He knew that there was nothing different Calvin could have done to prevent what had happened. If anything he had to make him see that Elliot had done all he could and it was still not enough to keep Olivia safe. They were dealing with a very smart and crafty criminal who had been cheating the system almost from the time he learned to walk.

"I screwed up and now Mom is in the hospital," Calvin couldn't help but start to cry. Fin pulled the car over and quickly slammed the gear into "Park". He knew words were not going to help in this situation and he carefully exited the car and headed for the passenger side. Opening the door, he pulled Calvin out and pulled him into a huge hug. Fin wasn't usually the hugging type but here was a moment when a boy needed someone to hold him and tell him his mother was going to be all right and he would never allow Calvin to think that he didn't deserve it. There had been so much pain he'd already gone through, he didn't need anymore.

At the hospital, they had finally let Elliot back in to see Olivia after the doctor had performed a few more tests and promised to let them know the results as soon as he could. Now the pair had nothing but silence between them. There were so many things to say but neither was sure where to start.

"El…" his name was barely above a whisper after what seemed like an eternity and Elliot squeezed her hand a little tighter.

"I'm here and I'm not going anywhere," he told her. She probably knew that but he could tell that she needed to hear it.

"He…" she started and stopped as the tears started to flow.

"He's in custody. There is no way he is getting out of this," Elliot reassured her and he carefully stroked the side of her face, and wiped away the tears. He wanted to hold her so badly but with her spine still questionable as to what kind of movement could be performed, he was forbidden. It was ironic; all those years of being partners and not being able to touch her in the way he wanted to finally getting his chance and now it was as if they were back at square one.

There was a knock on the door and Elliot was slightly annoyed to be interrupted in this moment but he knew that whoever it was, they were trying to tell them something; otherwise they would not have bothered.

"I have somebody here who needs to see his Mom," Fin announced.

"Calvin!" Olivia tears of sadness immediately turned to joy when she saw her son running over to her. Elliot slowed him down and pulled him into a hug. Then he carefully helped Olivia pull him into a one armed hug.

"Mom, I'm so sorry," the tears started again and by now both he and Olivia were crying. Fin slowly backed out of the room and went to go find Munch.

"None of this is your fault. You have nothing to be sorry for. You have no idea how happy I am to see you. I'm so glad you're ok," Olivia smiled as he pulled up to look at him.

"You're going to be ok right?" Calvin asked.

"Not to worry. The doctor is looking at the films as we speak," she tried to reassure him but inwardly she wondered if she was lying. She'd been too afraid to move her legs and until the doctor had poked her toes, she wasn't even sure if they were still down there.

"Your Mom is going to be just fine, you'll see. Nothing keeps her down," Elliot smiled.

"Where is Lottie?" Calvin suddenly asked, realizing his baby sister was nowhere to be seen.

"She's safe with Uncle John," Elliot told him. Calvin nodded and heaved a huge sigh of relief.

"El, can you check on Charlotte? When was the last time somebody fed her or changed her diaper?" Olivia wanted to know.

"I can find out," Elliot gave her a slight smile knowing that she wanted some alone time with Calvin. He gave his son's shoulder a squeeze and then headed out of the room.

Once out in the waiting room, he was surprised to see Maureen, Kathleen, Lizzie, and Dickie there. He had completely forgotten about calling them what with everything going on and he immediately felt terrible.

"Dad!" Maureen rushed over and gave him a hug while the others quickly crowded around him.

"Hi guys. I'm so sorry I didn't call you sooner I just…" he trailed off realizing that he would have to fill them in on everything and yet he still didn't know everything about Olivia's medical condition.

"What happened?" Lizzie asked.

"Where are Olivia and Calvin?" Kathleen had looked around the room and realized that they were not there.

"It's a long story but I know your Dad is very happy you're here," Captain Cragen announced his presence and Elliot looked away from his kids.

"Captain, have…" he didn't get a chance to finish.

"They are transferring Lewis now to the hospital ward at Rikers," Don told him. Elliot heaved a sigh of relief. The sooner they got that man behind bars the better.

"Is that the guy who hurt Olivia?" Maureen asked. She could figure out what was going one considering the fact that half the squad was here and that Munch was playing with Charlotte.

"Yes, he hurt Olivia," Elliot told them.

"Before you get too far, I need Munch and Fin back. We're going to need all hands on deck for Barba, once he gets a load of what our witness is saying," Cragen said.

"Absolutely," Elliot nodded.

"You will call us as soon as you know about Liv right?" The captain wanted to know.

"You're my first call," the former SVU detective smiled. Don nodded and grabbed his two detectives on the way, both telling him to give their best to Olivia.

"They're going to nail that guy, right Dad?" Dickie asked.

"Oh you better believe it son," Elliot smiled.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this chapter, I intend to take a time jump and I will explain how things go as we go along but right now it seems slow.

Nurse Shelby walked into Olivia's room to check on her and found Elliot asleep in the chair. Charlotte was sleeping in her carrier and Calvin was passed out in the second chair, his hand loosely sitting on top of the carrier's handle. She smiled slightly and tiptoed her way to Elliot and gently woke him up.

"What's going on?" He said groggily realizing that sleeping in the chair was doing nothing for his back or his neck.

"I think its time to get the kids to bed. Doctor Cappacino will see you and Olivia tomorrow morning," she smiled.

"I can't leave Olivia," Elliot said.

"I think what you all need is sleep in a real bed. Besides visiting hours are over and I have to make sure that Olivia gets her rest too. I put a call in to the Captain. He's sending someone down to give you a ride. They should be here any minute," Shelby explained.

"El…?" Olivia had awoken slightly, despite the massive sedative the nurse had given her, not long ago, and her tone was panicked. He'd never heard her so worried and he immediately turned to her.

"I'm here," he smiled and grabbed her hand. She immediately relaxed. The nurse noted what had transpired and knew she needed to make a call to the doctor. Elliot would need to stay with her but the kids needed to go home.

"El… I…" the sedative was still working its magic and she slipped right back into sleep. Shelby's pager went off and she quickly left the room. Elliot rubbed his eyes with his free hand and looked at his kids. Calvin was exhausted. Between everything that had happened as much as he'd tried to fight it, he could not stay awake. Part of that was because Maureen had the idea to get a pizza and give Elliot and Olivia some space to themselves. Calvin had needed some serious pushing to go as he did not want to leave his mother but after Olivia said it was all right, he went with the older kids and made sure that Charlotte was looked after. According to Maureen, Calvin downed half a large pizza and almost two full liters of pop. When she asked him why he was so hungry he explained that he hadn't really had anything since lunch at school the previous day. Fin had tossed him a large chocolate chip cookie from the Park Rangers and the hospital had given him some Gatorade. They had also made Calvin promise to check in with the doctors at the hospital when he got there. Fin had made sure he did before he took him to his mother and the nurses had been giving him electrolytic drinks all day along with snacks.

The full stomach and exhaustion had finally gotten the better of him. Now he was out completely cold. Elliot gave a slight smile before the door opened again and there was Nurse Shelby with Fin and Rollins.

"You got this Stabler?" Fin asked, in a low tone.

"I'm going to stay with Liv. Can you guys give Calvin and Charlotte a place to sleep?" Elliot wondered, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Of course," Rollins didn't hesitate. She was more than happy to watch the kids and quite a few times she and Calvin would be up at all hours playing video games with Fin at the latter detective's place.

"I really appreciate it. Liv…" Elliot trailed off. While the kids were out getting pizza, she had told him in bits and pieces what had happened before he had gotten to the apartment. He knew that she wasn't telling him everything but they had run out of time and he hoped that when she woke up, she'd want to talk more. It wasn't going to be easy and he wished that he could have taken the beating for her but Doctor Cappacino promised that the therapist would help.

Elliot worried that Liv wouldn't want to ask for help. She was always headstrong in that department, mostly because she'd spent most of her life doing everything for herself. At first, she'd even refused the sedative but after the nurse explained that the doctors didn't want her injuring her ribs anymore while she slept, she consented. Although, Elliot imagined the sedative was more to keep the nightmares away. She'd been fitful in her short naps while waiting for the doctors and the night was a long time to have to go being restless.

"We get it," Rollins said quietly, figuring that his incomplete sentence and far off look were due to what he was thinking about.

"Thanks," Elliot seemed relieved that they didn't push and quickly the two detectives scooped up the kids and headed out.

"I'll get you a better chair," Shelby smiled before leaving as well. He nodded in thanks and tried to settle back down.

Hours later the silence in the hospital room was broken when Elliot heard Olivia speaking in her sleep,

"Stop… please… stop… no… no…." he cringed. The bastard had really done something to his strong willed wife and he slowly reached out and took her hand. Suddenly she started trying to thrash around and Elliot pressed the call button and tried to soothe her.

"Liv, it's me. I'm here. No one is going to hurt you. I'm here. Please don't fight me," he said as he let go of her hand, hoping what he figured as the trigger would stop her from thrashing. It didn't.

"What happened?" Shelby asked as she rushed over to Olivia's machines and looked at the numbers. There were no outward signs of physical stress so she gave the detective another sedative. Olivia slowly calmed down and fell back into some sort of sleep.

"She was talking in her sleep so I tried to comfort her and she just lost it," Elliot said.

"I'm going to get the doctor. We have to make sure she didn't injure herself more. In the morning I'm going to have the therapist stop by. I would hate to have to keep her sedated the entire time she's healing," Shelby told him before quickly leaving the room. Elliot collapsed back into the chair and heaved a loud sigh. The sigh slowly turned into tears. How were they going to survive this?


	12. Chapter 12

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Elliot asked as he and Olivia waited out in the hallway at the courthouse. Both he and Calvin had testified the day before and now she was to be called as a witness shortly and Barba had wanted her to make a dramatic entrance.

"Of course I'm ready. I'm not wasting months of prep and all the work that everyone has done to make sure this case is airtight," she sounded slightly annoyed with him and he worried that he was pushing her away again, it wasn't intentional and they both knew it but it was still a sore subject. In the beginning as the therapist had brought up the wounds she had so very carefully tried to hide, she closed herself off to everyone except Calvin and Charlotte. Elliot was having trouble getting through and eventually he'd snapped at her. He didn't mean it and immediately apologized. But snapping at her worked and they spent the next few hours alternating crying and talking. Since then, things had begun to get back to normal. Well as normal as they could be.

"I know you wouldn't, I just don't want Barba's pushing to cause you to do something you don't want to do," he pointed out. She immediately softened and grabbed his hand.

"I know. I'm sorry. I just… I'm nervous," she admitted. Olivia didn't get nervous at trial. She never had. On the other hand, she hadn't really had to do anything like this before except after Sealview, something she still refused to talk about at any length and some of that had come spilling out with the therapist. Of course the major difference between the two cases was the fact that fear ruled every decision she had made for the last few months. A fear that she couldn't go to bed at night without Elliot checking the locks twelve times or the fact that their new apartment door had three sets of locks, each with different keys. There was also the fear of letting the kids out of her sight. Calvin had been very understanding throughout her fears and he had made sure to not ask for things like hanging out with his friends unless he was getting a ride with someone who Elliot had promised he'd run a background check on. The Captain promised he'd give Calvin rides and that alleviated the problem. Charlotte had been easy as Olivia would just keep the almost one year old home with her.

"It's ok. That's why I'm here," Elliot smiled and pulled her close to kiss her forehead.

"There are my two favorite detectives," a familiar voice spoke up as it approached them.

"Casey," Olivia smiled as the redhead sat down next to her and gave her a hug.

"Good to see you," Casey smiled back.

"Sneaking out of court?" Elliot asked.

"The defense asked for a ten minute recess. I can smell a plea deal coming," she smirked.

"Nice," Elliot smiled.

"Detective Benson?" The courthouse officer called out.

"That's my cue," Olivia smiled slightly.

"You just remember that I'm thinking of you and I'm taking you out later," Casey said as they slowly stood to their feet.

"I'll see you later," Olivia nodded. Casey gave her another quick hug before watching her friends head into the courtroom.

"Do you need any assistance ma'am?" The court officer asked.

"Just hold the door for me?" She wondered.

"Anything for a fellow officer of the law," he winked and Olivia smiled. He opened the door wide and she took her first few steps into the courtroom. There was an audible gasp from a few people as she walked through the gallery and toward the witness stand. There was no doubt what she was doing looked painful but Barba was hoping that the jury would most definitely feel that the Detective had suffered enough. Her kidneys and ribs had healed fine. They would not be noticeable but the fact that she walked with the help of a pair of forearm crutches would tell them that the damage to her spine was something she'd have to live with for the rest of her life.

Elliot got the gate next to the prosecutor and defense tables and Lewis's lawyer, Miss Hardgrove, immediately stood up and objected.

"Your Honor, this is highly irregular. Could the detective not sat in the gallery to lessen her walk to the stand?"

"Detective Benson had therapy this morning, your Honor, and could not be here before the proceedings began. She did not want to cause a ruckus during anyone else's testimony," Barba immediately came to her defense. He chuckled inside at the fact that Hardgrove was doing her best to make it look like she was actually trying to defend her client. The fact of the matter was, she couldn't do much. Vanessa Mayer's testimony had practically put the final nail in the coffin but only Olivia could finally drive it home.

"I think we can allow one of NYPD's finest a little leeway when it comes to her therapy," the judge gave the defense attorney a look. Olivia, almost unsteadily, got into the witness seat and was quickly sworn in.

"Detective Benson, thank you for coming today. Do you recognize the defendant?" Barba asked.

"That is William Lewis," she nodded.

"How do you know him?" Barba wanted to know.

"He is a sexual predator and he caused the death of Alice Parker before breaking into my family's apartment. He also had my son, Calvin, kidnapped," Olivia said.

"Objection. My client was never convicted of Alice Parker's death," Hardgrove spoke up.

"Prior bad acts judge that I intend to show led to her client's assault on Detective Benson," Barba explained.

"You're walking a very fine line Mr. Barba. Make your connection quickly," the judge told him. The ADA nodded and continued.

"How do you know that Mr. Lewis killed Alice Parker?"

"I got him to hypothetically confess to me and my partner, Detective Amaro. Not only that, Alice gave us a description of him trying to commit a lewd act in front of a couple of girls. Once he knew who talked to us about the act that Detective Rollins caught him at, he tortured and raped her over the course of eighteen hours," Olivia said.

"So why would he come after you?" Barba asked.

"I got into his head. Lewis did not like it that the team had been able to figure out who he really was and what he had done. During my interrogation of him, he tried several times to get into my head but I did not let him. When he got away with Alice's death, I was not in a very good frame of mind and headed home," she replied before swallowing hard.

"Detective?" The Judge asked, seeing that she was pausing.

"Sorry Your Honor," she quickly apologized. He nodded and she continued.

"He was already inside the apartment. He pointed a gun to my head and tried to force me into my daughter's room. He knew that my husband would be coming home in about thirty minutes and he intended to catch him and my daughter when they entered her room. He said that I was always trying to be a hard-ass and that he wanted to see how much of one I was after we had… fun…"

"And by fun he meant…" Barba hated doing this but he had no choice.

"Assaulting me in front of my husband and daughter," the words came out and she could do nothing about the tears that slowly started to roll down her cheeks. It was painful and Olivia was beginning to realize just how painful as the jurors looked at each other. The words said out loud in front of a crowd of people she did not know, who would feel sorry for her, made her stomach turn. She hated pity, even if she deserved the smallest bit of it.

"What happened before your husband got home?" Barba cursed himself for having to ask but he knew that Olivia could keep it together.

"We fought. I thought I could win but then he told me that he had Calvin and that if I didn't do as he wanted me to that he'd take the place he'd hidden Calvin to the grave. I saw no other option and I gave him my weapon," she paused and wiped her cheeks with her hands.

"He then forced me into Charlotte's room and started hitting me. First with his fists and then his feet. It seemed like an eternity before he stopped and when he did, he started to tell me all the things he intended to do to me while Elliot was forced to watch. At some point, I almost passed out from the pain but he pulled my hair and told me to get up. I couldn't get to my feet fast enough and he kicked me again just for good measure before pulling me up by my hair. Then I heard the key in the door and knew Elliot was walking into this and that it was really going to happen," she said.

"What happened instead?" Barba asked.

"I blacked out when the door hit my head. The next thing I knew I could feel an immense jolt of pain and then I woke up in the hospital," Olivia said.

"What were your injuries?" The ADA wanted to know.

"I had severe bruising which included my kidneys. The doctors had removed my spleen and repaired my lung where one of my four broken ribs had punctured it. The gun shot had damaged my spinal cord," she replied.

"Are you able to return to work?" Barba asked.

"No," Olivia said.


	13. Chapter 13

The shock of what she said slowly sunk into not only the jury but the gallery. Barba swallowed hard. He hadn't known either and that had been something Olivia had failed to mention in their last meeting a few days ago.

"When did you find out?" He asked, partially out of his own curiosity.

"Last night the Captain called and explained that the Chief of Detectives thanked me for my service but he was afraid that desk duty was not an option for the detectives in the Special Victims Unit," Olivia was very close to breaking down but Barba had to continue.

"Why not? Surely there are other units that do similar work to yours and they have desk duty detectives," the ADA questioned.

"As part of my job, I have to be able to have a clear head and sound body. I cannot run after suspects, I cannot tackle anyone brandishing a weapon, and I cannot fire my weapon if both hands are on my crutches. This alone would force me to desk duty for the rest of my career but due to the fact that I have to take large doses of pain medication every four hours as part of my treatment, the department fears that anything I touch could be called into question. I would need to be able to be off the pain medication and go through rigorous psych evals before being able to return to the job. Also apparently the Chief of Detectives seems to worry that if I were to be at hospitals with the victims that I may be inclined to steal medication to aid me in doing my job," that last part she practically spat out and her sadness quickly turned to anger.

"What in your decorated career would make them think you would do that?" Barba wanted to know.

"Nothing but just as the department fears drug addiction by undercover narcotics officers; they fear prescription drug use becoming an addiction. They fear that severely injured officers coming back to the job before they are ready. According to my doctors, I would need at least a year of intensive therapy for the use of the pain medication to go down, or to even have me stop taking them, and for the possibility that I could return to full active duty. Without any physical capabilities I could return to desk duty once the pain medication has been dealt with and my doctors say that it is ok for me to spend my entire day sitting but a year is too long to wait. My position at SVU would need to be filled. So as of last night, I am officially forced into retirement," Olivia heaved a sigh. Elliot could see that this was killing her and he wished there was something he could do but he knew that he couldn't. It frustrated him and the feeling of helplessness was something he was never good at handling.

"I am sorry to hear that as you have always been one of the best detectives I have ever worked with," it was a personal comment directed at Olivia and she gave a slight smile as the defense attorney's objection was heard clearly.

"Sustained. Keep the personal comments until after we adjourn," the judge said.

"Of course, your Honor," Barba smiled and returned to his seat.

"Your Honor, I fail to see how Detective Benson's testimony shows that my client was indeed the murderer of Alice Parker. Anything related to the murder should be stricken from the record," Miss Hardgrove said.

"I had one more question for the witness, your Honor," Barba stood.

"Go ahead," the judge told him.

"Detective, during the ordeal did the defendant ever do or say anything that would make you believe beyond a hypothetical confession that he did in fact kill and torture poor Alice Parker?" The ADA asked.

"He told me that if I thought what Alice went through was terrible, just wait until he was done with me. Although I have no proof he said that and it is just my word, I believe that my injuries speak for themselves. Lewis had multiple opportunities to kill me and instead he chose to try to make every breath more painful than the last. If given the opportunity I would not be surprised if after everything he killed me and my family," Olivia responded.

"Objection, your Honor, not facts just conjecture," Miss Hardgrove said.

"In my opinion, your Honor as an NYPD detective for the last fourteen years, I have seen many defendants who are twisted individuals. I have little doubt that after everything the team and I learned about the defendant he would have done as he promised," Olivia spoke up before Barba could.

"Your Honor at this time, I would like to introduce Alice Parker's autopsy report into evidence," the ADA quickly followed up her comment hoping that it would be enough to sway the judge. Hardgrove was right. There was not any real evidence to suggest that Lewis had caused the death of Alice Parker but he certainly intended to kill or at the very least maim Olivia. That could not be ignored, especially since the attempt to try and convict Lewis was on record.

"All right counselors. In my chambers, now," the judge gave them a look. Olivia was dismissed and she made her way back to Elliot who quickly helped her onto the seat next to him.

"Do you think it worked?" Olivia asked in hushed tones.

"Well I think the judge is fairly pissed off. It is kind of a back door and the evidence isn't exactly strong for poor Alice but there is no way they can deny what happened to you and our family," Elliot replied.

"Alice is my last case. I have to have justice for her," Olivia said.

"I know you do. I know you do," Elliot said, pulling her close and kissing her temple.


	14. Chapter 14

"They've been in there a long time," Fin said as he spoke up to Rollins who was anxiously checking her phone every thirty seconds.

"Yes they have," she swallowed hard.

"What do you think they are arguing about? It seems as though the judge would either allow it or he wouldn't right?" Amaro asked.

"Perhaps Hardgrove is bucking for a mistrial," Munch said.

"Due to Alice being brought up in the testimony, I suppose it's possible," Fin shook his head. He wasn't happy at that prospect and leaned forward, putting his hand on Olivia's shoulder. She turned her head and gave him a smile.

"You know he's going down right?" He asked.

"I know I just hope that Alice will get some justice," she heaved a sigh.

"I know. I can't believe you're not coming back. It just doesn't seem right," Fin said.

"Don't think it gets you off the hook for kids' birthday parties and late night video games," she chuckled. He was surprised by her lightheartedness despite everything but then again Olivia was never one for self-pity.

"Oh I will not miss out on those ever," he smirked.

"Besides there will still be a Stabler in the unit," Elliot turned around and could not help the grin on his face.

"What are you talking about?" Fin asked. Elliot didn't get the chance to answer as the judge and the attorneys reentered the courtroom.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, you are excused for today. We will pick this back up tomorrow at nine a.m. sharp," with that the judge banged his gavel and Olivia gave a look to Elliot who looked at the row of detectives behind him. They all looked confused as well.

"What just happened?" Olivia asked. Elliot shrugged and watched as Barba walked over to them.

"We need to talk," he said.

"Your office?" Olivia wanted to know.

"We have an hour, at which point I have to go and talk to Hardgrove and her client down at the Tombs," Barba told them.

"All righty, let's go," Elliot said.

"We're needed back at the precinct. Keep us in the loop?" Munch asked.

"Of course," Olivia smiled and nodded. The detectives quickly filed out and Elliot and Olivia exited the bench and followed Barba to the elevator.

"I'm going to call a cab, care to share?" Barba wondered.

"Sounds like a plan," Elliot smiled.

"You're really worrying me," Olivia said.

"Well sometimes I worry myself," the ADA gave a tight smile. The rest of the trip was mostly silent and that made Olivia even more worried. Once inside his office, Barba shut and locked the door.

"Here is how things are going," he paused.

"You're killing me, you know that right?" Olivia asked.

"The judge will not allow Alice's case to come into the trial. Hardgrove made an excellent argument that I could really not refute. He gave us the rest of the afternoon to come up with some sort of evidence but he's really leaning toward making a deal with Lewis," Barba knew that Olivia would be unhappy but there was nothing he could do about it. They knew going in that trying to get Alice as evidence of prior bad acts would be a stretch.

"Getting Alice admitted to the case was the only way to get justice for her. Now she will never get it even if I do," Olivia said.

"It was weak from the get go. We had to give it a shot," Barba told her.

"So you're meeting with Hardgrove to try to pound out a deal?" Elliot asked.

"Yes. She has said that she has made it abundantly clear to her client that even if evidence of Alice's death wasn't let in, they were for an uphill battle," Barba explained.

"So what are you going to deal with? If he is convicted of attempted murder of Olivia he could get up to life in prison," Elliot said.

"That is true. It is a Class A-1 felony and he could get a maximum of life however without prior bad acts I can't make the life sentence stick. He could get twenty years for the kidnapping and forcing Vanessa into helping him. I could tell him instead of asking for life, we would give him sixty years," Barba told them.

"Forty years for the attempted murder and twenty years for the kidnapping?" Olivia asked.

"Yes. Right now if we let it got to the jury, he could get life but sixty years is pretty close," the ADA said.

"I will only offer it, if you are ok with it. Otherwise, I'll have to finish the trial without Alice," Barba continued. Elliot looked to Olivia. Ultimately it was her decision. Personally, he'd like to take Lewis out to the woods, shoot him, and bury him where no one would find him but the law was something he respected too much along with his family to jeopardize everything now.

"No less than sixty. I want him to be a very old man when and if he ever gets out," Olivia said.

"Good. I'll see what I can do," Barba smiled.


	15. Chapter 15

Olivia and Elliot sat at home waiting for Barba's phone call. It seemed like it had been hours since they last talked to the ADA and both worried that things were not going well. The sound of keys in the locks on the front door made them look at the clock only to realize their fears had been right, it had been hours since they'd talked to Barba.

"Hey Mom. Hey Dad," Calvin smiled as he let the Captain in behind him before locking the door as he knew his mother would more than appreciate. She stood as quickly as she could off the couch and pulled Calvin into a hug.

"Hey sweetie. Have a good day?" She asked.

"The usual," Calvin smiled slightly. It was then that Charlotte let out a wail and he chuckled.

"That time of the day already?" Calvin asked.

"I suppose it is," Olivia laughed.

"I got her," the boy smiled and quickly left the adults to their own devices.

"Captain," Elliot smiled as he offered Cragen a seat in the overstuffed chair near the couch. Don smiled and took the seat before he said anything.

"So you're here to tell us that Barba accidently flushed his cell phone down the urinal and hasn't been able to call," Olivia spoke first.

"Not exactly. You guys haven't turned on your TV have you?" Cragen asked. When both Elliot and Olivia looked at each other, Don grabbed the remote off the coffee table and flicked on the TV.

"Breaking news from just outside the holding facility, the police call the Tombs, where just an hour ago an inmate took his attorney and the ADA prosecuting his case hostage after striking the guard with his flashlight and dousing the guard with his own pepper spray. As far as we know the guard has already been evacuated from the room with severe head trauma while the prisoner continues to make threats holding the remainder of the pepper spray. He's handcuffed both lawyers together and has broken one of the chairs inside the visiting attorney room which he is now threatening to beat the lawyers if anyone gets within ten feet of the room. We'll keep you up to date as more information becomes available," the TV newscaster reported. The Captain lowered the volume and set the remote back down on the arm of the chair.

"Good God, has Lewis lost his mind?" Elliot asked.

"Well that was our first thought. We haven't been able to get near the scene. The Chief of D's wants us nowhere near this one. Besides the Corrections Officers are out for blood. It seems the department is perfectly happy with letting them handle the situation and should Lewis die while they try to extricate him, no one seems all that upset," Cragen explained.

"Why haven't they charged in there yet? Lewis is holding piece of a chair not a gun," Olivia wanted to know.

"What you didn't hear on the news report is that he's promised to bash both Barba's and Hardgrove's heads in. The Corrections Officer he hit with the flashlight is more than likely to have severe brain damage and be unable to work ever again. The man has some serious rage issues," Cragen shook his head.

"Has he made any demands?" Elliot asked.

"Not yet but my guess is that he will and that they could involve Olivia," Don swallowed hard at the thought.

"Is that why you're here?" Olivia said; the sense of fear was easily noticeable in her tone.

"I'm here so you don't get any stupid ideas and go down there. No matter what Lewis asks for, he can't get it and he won't if you stay here," the Captain told them.

"What about Barba?" Elliot wanted to know.

"They have snipers positioning themselves to hit Lewis. With any luck, they will nail the bastard before he even knows what hit him," Don smirked. Olivia sat silent as her mind processed what her former Captain had told her. She had this feeling inside that Lewis would be better off dead; she knew the rest of the world would be without him in it. Shaking that thought from her mind she questioned where it came from. Despite everything, she had never wished anyone dead. Though in this case, dead solved a lot of their problems. No possible contact with the psychopath ever again. He'd never be free. He'd never be able to keep tabs on her family. There wouldn't be appeal after appeal… she paused.

"What if he did this on purpose?" She said aloud.

"Do you mean did he think this through or do you mean he planned it?" Don suddenly caught onto one his best detective's thoughts.

"If he plans this then he could try for insanity. After all, if he survives, he'd have to go through a psych eval," Elliot said.

"Yes and the two attorneys would both have to recuse themselves from the case. New ADA, new defense attorney, new trial…" Don saw the look in Olivia's eyes as he let the thought die as it passed from his lips.

"He'd do it. He'd go to any lengths to make sure he'd get off for what he's done. If he's found insane then they put him in a mental hospital not Rikers. They'd let him out of a mental hospital…" Olivia's fear was right out on her sleeve and Elliot knew that she was retreating into the shell that had appeared after she awoke from surgery. He pulled her gently into his arms and tried to comfort her while the Captain excused himself. He quickly strode out into the hallway after he unlocked all the deadbolts and placed a phone call to the hostage negotiators down at the scene. He quickly relayed what the three had just discussed and the negotiator agreed that it could be a possibility then Don did something he never thought he would do,

"I need you to let the snipers take him out," he said.

"Are you crazy?" The negotiator asked.

"Lewis is a psychopath and if he ever gets out he'll come after my detective and her family. End him before someone else does and people get hurt," Don was firm, knowing full well that someone he knew could take justice into their own hands. They had enough cause to kill Lewis; after all he'd beaten a Corrections Officer within an inch of his life and was holding two attorneys hostage.

"This call never happened," the negotiator said.

"I won't tell if you don't," Don agreed. The silent nod between the men was understood. Now all there was to do was sit back and wait.


	16. Chapter 16

"You realize that they will try to kill you right?" Barba spoke up. He did not want to poke the bear as it were but if it was necessary he would for Olivia.

"Of course they will but it's a risk I'm willing to take. Besides if they try something stupid doesn't mean I won't take one of you with me," Lewis smirked. Barba then realized that despite a possible death wish by the crazy holding him captive, he could still end up dead or worse Hardgrove could. He cursed himself for bringing her into this but he had never realized that things would get so out of hand.

"As your attorney, I must caution you against betting on the NYPD or the Department of Corrections to not shoot. You hurt both an NYPD Detective and a Corrections Officer. They will not hesitate to take revenge and to be honest they would be in their rights if no other options presents itself," Hardgrove was trying to be brave and still give her client advice. Barba decided that after all of this was over, he'd offer her to go out for drinks and a job at the DA's office.

"Why don't you two get up against those windows?" Lewis asked. Thinking they both should have kept their mouths shut; carefully the two stood up from their chairs and walked over to the windows together.

"Are you ok?" Barba asked as he noticed that Lewis had tightened the plastic cuff on Hardgrove's wrist awfully tight and it was drawing blood.

"I'll be fine," she was putting on a brave face but he could tell she was scared.

"Hey, did I say you could talk?" Lewis asked before clubbing the back of Barba's knee with the chair piece. He cried out in pain and went down, almost dragging Hardgrove with him.

"Stand up!" Lewis grabbed him by the shirt collar and forced him up. The ADA could barely put any weight on his leg and he hoped this would be over soon.

Outside, the sniper on top of the nearby building reported what he saw to his superiors and was waiting for a reply.

"You have no shot?" The voice came over the radio.

"Negative. Hostages are in the way," the sniper replied.

"Standby," the voice told him. Down at the negotiator vehicle, Captain Joseph Hannah of Major Case shook his head; things had gone from bad to worse.

"Get me Captain Don Cragen over at SVU. His team knows this psychopath better than anybody else. In the meantime, I want SWAT to be as close as they can be to storm that room if we've lost sniper capabilities for good," he said.

"Yes, sir," one of the men said before grabbing his cell phone and placing a call to One Police Plaza for Cragen's whereabouts.

"How much longer do we wait until he gives demands?" The negotiator, Sam Magner, asked.

"Not very. He doesn't give us demands in the next ten minutes and I'm sending SWAT in. He's got a phone and he's refusing to use it. Once I talk to Cragen, we'll go from there," Hannah told him.

"You don't think he'll try something if we charge the room?" Magner wanted to know.

"Oh I'm counting on it. If this guy is as nuts as the report filed for the case against him says he is, he'll try something and then we'll end him. He has to know by now that no matter what he does, he isn't getting out of this," the Captain said. Then the phone rang inside the truck and Sam picked it up.

"I want to speak to the man in charge," Lewis said.

"Well that's me. What do you need?" Sam asked.

"I need you to keep your men back or I'm liable to do something that no one will appreciate. Least of all, Miss Hardgrove," Lewis told him.

"No one is getting any closer. We just want this to end peacefully," Sam lied.

"Sure you do and I'm the Queen of England," the criminal retorted.

"Have I given you any reason not to trust me?" Sam inquired.

"The snipers," Lewis pointed out.

"Standard procedure. They don't take a shot unless they absolutely have to. I don't want them to have to, do you?" The negotiator asked.

"I do actually. It will stop the voices in my head telling me to kill poor Miss Hardgrove. It's really a shame because they're telling me to do other things to her but I know I'll never get that far," his words rang out in Barba's head and now he knew what Lewis was up to. He looked at Hardgrove who was barely able to stand up. She knew what her client was getting at and she had been shown what happened to poor Alice Parker.

"We're going to get out of here, I promise," Barba whispered and squeezed her hand. He looked out the window to see the sniper ready and waiting. With Lewis distracted on the phone, he leaned his head toward the other side of the window and saw all the police cars and personnel. Then something Lewis said caught his attention.

"I want Olivia down here and I want her in the next ten minutes or I start doing bad things," Lewis then slammed the phone down. The ADA knew that they would never let Olivia in even if she could get to the site within ten minutes. They had basically been told by Lewis that in the next ten minutes some bad things were going to happen. Grabbing a set of plastic cuffs, Lewis grabbed Barba's free hand and zip tied him to the bars on the window.

"What are you doing?" Barba asked. For his question he got the chair leg to the back of his other knee. The tight zip tie cut into his wrist at the window forcing him to basically stay on his feet. He then zip tied Hardgrove to the other window then he placed his hands on her backside and gave it a squeeze.

"I think you and I would have had fun together. Isn't that right Susan?" Lewis smirked and all the defense attorney could do is swallow hard.

"Now we sit and wait," he said, taking a seat in one of the remaining chairs.


	17. Chapter 17

"You can't be serious," Elliot said upon getting the phone call from the Captain. Olivia did not like the sound of the conversation and worried that things had taken a turn for the worst.

"You ok Mom?" Calvin asked as he walked back into the living room, holding Charlotte. She giggled as she grabbed the boy's shirt and tried to put it in her mouth. He tugged it away and gave her a funny look which made her giggle all the more.

"I'll be fine," she gave him a slight smile.

"Should I be calling the pizza place again?" Calvin asked realizing that the dinner hour was slowly slipping away again.

"Hold that thought just for a few minutes. Can you get Charlotte into her playpen?" She asked.

"Sure," the boy smiled slightly and got his sister where she needed to be before hoisting herself off the couch and heading for Elliot. Snatching the phone from him, she said into it,

"He wants me there doesn't he?"

"They are working out a compromise right now. He gave them ten minutes but even if I thought you should be down there, ten minutes wasn't enough time," Don explained.

"Tell them to send a squad car over. I'm not going to jeopardize Barba and Hardgrove so I can avoid being uncomfortable. Tell the bastard I'm coming but he has to give me more time," Olivia told him.

"Olivia you…"

"Just do it. I'll be waiting downstairs for the car," with that she hung up.

"Liv…"

"No. No more arguing. This guy wants me down there then I go down there and show him the real meaning of victim," Olivia was firm and Elliot knew, no matter how hard he protested, he would not be getting anywhere.

"At least let me come with you. I can't let you face him alone," he said.

"And I can't ask Calvin to do any more babysitting. Stay here with him. He needs someone to be here," she told him. Looking over at her adopted son, she could tell that he heard her but it didn't matter. She refused to leave him alone anymore. He'd been through a lot and most of it had been put on the back burner due to her condition. That stopped today.

"Go Mom. Do what you have to do. I'll be fine," Calvin said.

"After this is over, we're going on a family vacation. I don't care what we have to do. We're going somewhere and it's going to be wherever you want sweetheart. You know how much I love you and I am sorry for not saying it enough," Olivia pulled him into a hug and kissed his forehead. She could almost feel the burdens she had been placing on him as she squeezed him.

"You had better get down there and wait for the car. This is something you can't be late for," Calvin said. She kissed his forehead again and headed for the door. Elliot got in front of her and opened it for her. Once they left they could hear Calvin locking the door.

"The kid needs a medal," Elliot said.

"I'm serious about the vacation thing. We all need to get away from here and I don't care what IAB or anybody else wants," Olivia told him.

"You got it," he smiled as they got into the elevator. Once downstairs, they made their way out to the curb. No black and whites were in sight but a very familiar car pulled up.

"You sure about this baby girl?" Fin asked as Rollins opened the door for the two of them and they crawled into the backseat of the vehicle.

"I'll catch up with you later. Get them where they have to go," Rollins told her partner.

"Yes ma'am," he gave her a wink and sped away before either Olivia or Elliot could say anything. Rollins headed upstairs hoping that her little surprise for Calvin would be just what he was looking for.

Fin pushed the car as fast as he could go with the lights and sirens blazing. Olivia heaved a sigh, realizing that this was probably the last time she would ever get to ride in a police car. The realization hurt but she knew there was absolutely nothing she could do. In the blink of an eye her career was over. Now as they rushed to get to where they were going, she hoped that Barba and Hardgrove were all right and that their lives would remain intact.  
"How much longer are you trying to stall me? I'm growing very impatient," Lewis said to the negotiator on the phone.

"Detective Benson is on her way. She'll be here any second," Magner told him.

"She had better be. This time when I say ten minutes, you'll find out I mean it," with that Lewis hung up.

"I know I already asked but are you sure about this?" Fin asked as he strapped a bulletproof vest onto Olivia. He wasn't sure that it would help but standard procedure in case the SWAT team got anxious.

"I have no choice. I can't let Barba and Hardgrove suffer any more than they already have. Besides it will bring me a better sort of closure," she said as Fin handed her a weapon. She stuffed it inside her waistband and flashed him a little smile.

"Only if you need it. I think we'll all understand if you put a few caps in his ass," Fin smirked. She nodded. This was ending one way or the other. She carefully walked leaning heavily on her crutches, playing it up for Lewis to see. He was a psychopath, there was no doubt but if he felt he didn't have the upper hand he was even more dangerous.

"So she decided to grace us with her presence," Lewis couldn't help but lick his lips.

"I'm here, just like you asked," she said as she approached the door to the interrogation room. He slowly opened the door and beckoned her inside.

"I'm not coming in there unless you let one of the hostages go," Olivia told him.

"Now what fun would that be?" He asked.

"Let one go or I turn around and walk away," she was firm.

"Do you have a preference? Would you prefer your beloved ADA or the skanky defense attorney?" Lewis wanted to know.

"Let Miss Hardgrove go. She was trying to help you for Christ sake," Olivia's patience was wearing thin and the bile in her stomach was rising.

"Oh getting a little snippy eh? Why don't I just give her a little love tap with my chair leg here?" He was screwing around and Olivia knew it.

"Don't touch her unless you are letting her go. You hurt her and I'll hurt you," it was not a veiled threat and he could see the intent in her eyes.

"A woman of the law would stoop so low?" He wondered.

"I'm not of the law anymore remember? That ended when your bullet hit my spinal cord," Olivia spat. Lewis couldn't help but chuckle. He turned around and cut Hardgrove loose. She left the room hurriedly as he pushed her out.

"All right, time for you to fulfill your part of the bargain," he said. Olivia only glared as she entered the room and he closed the door.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strong T rating on this chapter.

"Delivery!" A familiar voice announced and Calvin went to the door. He quickly opened it and was all smiles when he found Rollins on the other side of the door.

"Aunt Amanda!" He beamed.

"Hey there Calvin," she pulled him into a hug. After they parted, she shut the door and locked it.

"I wasn't expecting you," he admitted.

"I bet you weren't expecting the latest version of Madden either," Amanda chuckled as she pulled the game out of her coat.

"No way!" Calvin was all excited.

"Yes way! I've got Chinese food coming. After we eat, prepare to get your butt kicked," she teased,

"Me get my butt kicked? I think not," he laughed.

"Oh it is on like Donkey Kong mister," Rollins laughed and pointed him in the direction of the bathroom to wash up before they ate. She then went over to Charlotte who was entertaining herself in her playpen.

"Somebody is getting big aren't they?" The blonde smiled. In response, the almost one year old gurgled and smiled back.

"I'll take that as a yes," she laughed.

"Mom is going to be ok isn't she?" Calvin's reemergence from the bathroom caught Rollins off guard but she didn't let his question do the same.

"What was it Uncle Fin told you? There is nothing your mom can't handle," she told him.

"She doesn't know how to be anything else but a cop. I heard her say so," Calvin plunked down on the couch.

"That is not true. She may only think that but your mom is very capable of handling just about anything," the detective found a seat next to him.

"She thinks I don't know how she feels but I can tell. Dad tries to hide his concern but when it comes to Mom, he can't hide much," he admitted.

"You know that he loves her and you and little Charlotte so much that it's hard to hide the worry. You're very lucky that you have what you have. I think we've both experienced enough disappointment when it comes to family," Rollins said.

"You know I thought I would miss my real Mom. I don't even think about her anymore. Does that make me a terrible person?" Calvin asked.

"No sweetie. Not even close. You'll never stop loving her, she is your Mom. I'm sure she thinks about you all the time and if she could she'd be here for you. She can't and because of that you have a new family and I know that both your new Mom and Dad love you very much. They'd do anything for you, never doubt that," Rollins smiled and pulled him into a hug. Just then the doorbell rang and she pulled herself out of the hug and up to the door. Checking the peephole, she found the Chinese deliveryman on the other side.

"Hey Charlie," she smiled as she opened the door.

"Detective Rollins, good to see you. I slipped some extra Rangoon in there today," Charlie smiled. He was the son of the owner Mr. Chang and despite the restaurant being outside their delivery range, both father and son made an exception when it came to the blonde.

"So the usual then?" Amanda winked as she went into her coat pocket for her wallet.

"Police discount this time. Every fifth delivery in a month," Charlie chuckled.

"Charlie," Rollins gave him a look.

"Dad says so and I say so, so that makes it true. Make sure you enjoy the extra fortune cookies too," Charlie smiled and then he was off down the hall. Rollins chuckled and pulled the food inside and locked the door again.

"Ready for some food?" She asked. Calvin's stomach growled and they both laughed as she set the food down on the kitchen table.

Meanwhile Olivia and Lewis were at a different table all together. She'd taken a seat in the remaining good chair in the room and for the last few minutes all Lewis had done was stare at her.

"If you wanted me here to stare at you, you could have done it without kidnapping and assaulting the lawyers," she pointed out.

"I was just contemplating all the things we never got to do. Makes me very sad," he said.

"Well you remember that when they add a life sentence to whatever plea deal you were making. That Corrections Officer you beat was officially declared brain dead. His wife is going to have to tell their two young sons that she has to take him off life support and they get to witch him die," Olivia told him.

"Well you see I wasn't planning on that but I suppose when I go down in a hail of gun fire it won't matter," he walked around the table and moved to touch Olivia. She jerked her head around to stare at him.

"Don't even think about it," she hissed.

"Oh it's all I think about. How you would have felt, how you would have begged for me to stop, how your husband would have been pleading for you and your children's lives. Like it or not Olivia you have to live with the fact that you were my undoing, my obsession, and that it was worth every minute of it," he grabbed her crutch that was nearest to him and yanked it away from her. He picked it up and gave it a once over. Satisfied that it wasn't anything more than a crutch he moved to the other side of the table and went for the other one.

"You must be insane," Olivia said, grabbing her remaining crutch and refusing to let it go. He leaned down so that only he and she could hear what he was about to say and whispered,

"Insane is you coming back in here. Insane is the fact that you go to bed every night wanting me being the one pounding into you. Insane is how wet you are right now and won't admit it to yourself." Olivia's knuckles turned white as she gripped the crutch in her hand. He still thought he had the upper hand. With one swift motion she knocked Lewis under the chin with the crutch and he fell to the floor. In an instant, faster than she thought possible herself, she was straddling him on the floor. She could feel what kind of mood he was in as she lifted the crutch above her head and brought it down right next to his ear. Dropping it, she pulled the weapon out of her waistband and pressed the end of the gun to his forehead.

"Give me one good reason I shouldn't pull this trigger right now," she said. The police started rushing toward the door and she knew within a matter of seconds the decision would be made for her. Inexplicably, Lewis bucked his hips and pressed his body as close as he could to her.

"Make sure you aim true. I want to feel every second of it," Olivia had her finger on the trigger a hair from squeezing it. In an instant, her decision had been made and she finished what Lewis had started.

BANG!


	19. Chapter 19

The door to the interrogation room slammed against the wall and the officers rushed into the room.

"Put the gun down!" The leader of the SWAT team ordered. Olivia dropped the weapon and placed her hands where everyone could see them.

"Are you all right Detective Benson?" The team moved over to her and carefully helped her up off the floor. One of the SWAT team secured the handgun she dropped and the other secured Lewis.

"I'll be fine as soon as this maniac gets locked in a padded cell," she said as she sat her down in the chair and fetched her crutches.

"Oh no worries there," the SWAT Captain, Ray Cryan, winked. Two of his men hauled Lewis up off of his feet. He was bleeding from his ear; the sound of Olivia's shot was so close, it perforated his eardrum. The look on his face was one of confusion and pain.

"Get this piece of shit out of here," the Captain said. The men nodded and dragged Lewis away. Two more rushed over to help ADA Barba.

"That was a great shot by the way. I thought you had just ended everything before we could stop you. Lord knows Fin would never let me live it down," Ray chuckled. Olivia looked at him with confusion.

"He and I are old friends. Told me you had a piece when you went in," he explained.

"Liv!" Two familiar voices made her turn to the doorway.

"Elliot!" the relief in her voice was evident as Stabler charged into the room, got down on his knees, and pulled her as close as he could.

"Thanks man," Fin shook the Captain's hand.

"You owe me, brother," Ray smirked.

"I do," Fin nodded.

"Well I'm glad that everyone came to the rescue but do you think I could get out of here?" Barba asked.

"Off to the hospital with you," Ray jerked his head to the side as the paramedics rushed in to take a good look at the ADA. A second set hurried over to Olivia. Elliot quickly got out of their way despite the fact that at that particular moment, all he wanted to do was hold onto her as tight as he could.

"We need to take you in and get you checked out. Captain Cragen's orders," the paramedic, whose nametag read Barnes on it, said.

"I'm fine," Olivia told them, however when she went to stand up, it was evident that she was not fine.

"All right, sit tight, and I'll get a gurney," Barnes smiled as he left the room, leaving his partner, Suffolk, to handle the situation.

"Are you in any pain?" The paramedic wanted to know.

"Yes," it was suddenly becoming overwhelming and Elliot could see that she was trying to hold back tears.

"Where?" Suffolk asked.

"My lower back. I have pain shooting down into my right foot," Olivia told him.

"Ok, let's get you onto the gurney as carefully as we can and I'll radio ahead for the specialist," he told her. She nodded. Elliot reached over to her and squeezed her shoulder. Given her history of spinal injury the paramedics followed procedure and quickly applied a neck brace along with getting her onto a backboard, which they placed on the table, before using the SWAT team to help lift her onto it and then the gurney.

"All right, let's get these two out of here," Barnes ordered. The vacated the room and left SWAT to handle the room.


	20. Chapter 20

Once at the hospital, Barba was wheeled toward the emergency section while Olivia was taken upstairs to the floor she'd been on for her recovery, into an empty surgery suite. The physical therapist was there and so was the local specialist, Doctor Bettcher. They had the specialist from Buffalo, Doctor Cappacino, on video conference.

"Couldn't stay out of trouble huh?" Cappacino chuckled trying to lighten the somber mood in the room.

"You know me Doc, never a dull moment," Olivia smirked despite the pain.

"Well at least your sense of humor isn't bruised. I need you to describe the pain you are in and what exactly happened before the pain occurred," the doctor said. Olivia quickly went into detail.

"All right boys, remove the neck brace. It sounds like you need an MRI but I think we're dealing with a herniated disc. The good news is most people can live without surgery. It'll take more therapy but you're already in therapy so that's not a problem. However if you've re-aggravated of your existing condition, I may need to get myself down to New York and perform surgery.

"Doctor Bettcher, after the MRI, get her in an ice bath and pump anti-inflammatories into her. Send me the film and I'll take a look at what we've got," Cappacino said.

"Will do," Bettcher nodded before the nurses quickly wheeled Olivia away.

"Doc, surgery?" Elliot asked.

"That is worst case scenario. The reason I want the MRI first rather than the ice bath is because it will tell me what we're dealing with. Doctor Bettcher is more than capable of handling anything but as my patient I want to make sure that I perform the surgery myself, if it is necessary. If it is not, you are in capable hands, Detective Stabler," the doctor explained.

"Thanks," somehow the doctor's words did not make him more comfortable. The call ended and Doctor Bettcher spoke up.

"Surgery would only be required if the disc is squashing something severely. Given that Olivia has a weak spot in her spine already, it is a possibility. However if it is further up or down her spine, the ice bath is just extra precaution. Her swelling would go down very quickly. Now I must tend to the MRI results, so please have a seat in the waiting room," Bettcher smiled. Elliot nodded and headed back out into the waiting room. There he found Fin and Munch along with the Captain.

"How is she?" They all asked almost at once.

"MRI and then they'll let me know," Elliot said, collapsing into a chair.

"Got here as quick as I could," Amaro showed up almost out breath. He'd just run up the stairs two at a time after his patience ran out waiting for the elevator.

"Has anyone called Rollins?" Fin wanted to know. When he got no response, he pulled out his phone and quickly dialed his partner. Walking away from the group, he filled her in and told her to hold off on bringing the kids.

"Is the nightmare finally over?" She asked him.

"Lewis is in custody. There is no way he's skating. The DA's office wanted his head before but now that he practically broke Barba's kneecaps and killed that Corrections Officer, he's toast," Fin explained.

"Good. Let me know the moment you know about Olivia," Amanda told him.

"Will do. My place later?" He asked.

"Definitely," he could hear her smile on the other end of the phone.

"Catch you later then," with that the phone call ended and he returned to the group.

"Where'd Elliot go?" He asked.

"MRI results are in," Munch said.

"She's going to put me into an early grave," Cragen shook his head.

"Thought that was my job," Fin chuckled.

"Thought that was Elliot's job," Munch said. To that they both laughed while Nick raised his eyebrows.

Elliot emerged a few minutes later, a smile on his face. They all took that to mean good news and eagerly awaited his version of events.

"No surgery. She'll have to stay overnight but they're releasing her for therapy starting tomorrow," he was so relieved.

"Any new medications or complications?" Cragen asked.

"No, the pain meds they have her on now are strong enough. But they figure she'll be back in a wheelchair for a little while until she can gain some extra strength in her back. It's not the normal procedure with a herniated disc but given that her situation isn't normal, they want to be cautious," Elliot explained.

"So how much does this push her rehab back?" Munch asked.

"Probably an extra three months," this made Elliot frown. She had told him that it had been worth it. Lewis would never get out of prison and that was that. She would recover and be the best stay at home Mom she could be. Secretly both of them worried about the rent and the bills. She would be getting her pension and her disability checks but they weren't sure if that would cover all their expenses even with his paycheck.

"She's alive and she's going to be fine. That is something you have to take away from this. You have your family back and that is what matters most," Cragen said.

"You're right," Elliot nodded.

"All right good. Now I want to see you and your transfer papers first thing Monday morning, you got it?" Cragen smirked.

"Yes, sir," Elliot smiled.

"You mean he's coming back?" Fin's eyes got big. They had had their differences before but after all the time away from the unit, how could he fit in.

"Well Nick needs a new partner and I'm short an experienced detective. IAB wasn't too thrilled but they really can't complain considering the situation," Cragen explained.

"Almost like the good old days," Munch said.

"I get to keep Rollins as a partner right?" Fin asked, eyeing his former partner.

"Moi in the field? Methinks not unless I have to. I don't have that far to go until I retire," John told them.

"Everything stays the same. Now, Elliot go be with Olivia and we'll see you Monday," Cragen smirked as Fin and Munch started into a debate about how Munch was always the better partner.


	21. Epilogue

Not long after the joke about retiring, Munch officially turned in his papers. Between the attack on Olivia and the subsequent racially charged case involving the death of Mehcad Carter, the elder detective decided that he just could not handle the job anymore. He'd been a cop for a long time, first in Baltimore and then in New York City, and in that time he'd seen things that would boggle the mind but none more so than what happened to his friend and colleague and that poor boy who was just walking home on the wrong street that night. The Mehcad case got to Fin too though he didn't exactly express it in words, Munch could tell that his old partner was upset. How was it that in society today something like that could happen?

It was Elliot's first case back and he put simply that despite the strides that society had made as a whole, there would still be those that would not believe in equality. There would still be those that hated others who were not like them, no matter what the race, color, or creed, because it was easier to blame someone else rather than themselves. For Elliot, it had reinforced why he was a cop and why everyone was afforded equal protection under the law needed to be fought for. He'd protected his country while in the service with those same ideals and he would continue to do so as a member of the NYPD. It wasn't so black and white for Munch anymore and he knew that he rather retire on his terms, rather than the department making the choice for him.

The retirement party was held in grand fashion with many people attending and wishing Munch the best as he journeyed into the new life of retirement. The after party was just SVU and family and it was held down at their favorite cop bar.

"Hey! Those kids can't be in here," the bartender said as Calvin walked through the door, pushing Charlotte in the stroller.

"They're with me," Munch told him as he entered the bar still wearing the retirement party hat that Rollins had bought him. The bartender, a retired officer by the name of Charlie, left from behind the bar and strode over to the former detective, shaking his hand; he congratulated him on his retirement.

"You know I can get in real trouble for this," Charlie jerked his head to the two minors who had taken up a corner table along the wall, to stay out of the way.

"At ease, Charlie, they're not going to be drinking. Besides can you imagine the trouble I'd get in for letting Charlotte put whiskey in her Sippy cup?" Munch asked.

"Ten hut!" Suddenly a shout went up and every cop in the bar stood at attention. The music on the juke box was silenced by a swift kick to the front of the machine.

"Geez, you'd think they'd never seen an SVU detective before," Olivia shook her head as she walked in through the door. What she didn't realize was that Elliot wasn't the one holding the door.

"I'm sure they have Detective Benson," the voice made her turn her head.

"Commissioner," she tried to stand as upright as she could with her crutches.

"At ease, everyone," he announced before saying, "The next round is on me." To that cheers went up and the bar became its lively self again.

"I'm dead," Charlie said.

"Not at all son. Those two whippersnappers are my guests this evening. I have it on good authority that we won't be bothered with a surprise inspection from the liquor authority tonight," he winked.

"Yes sir," and with that Charlie quickly ducked back behind the bar.

"Sir, I…" Olivia spoke up but she soon realized that she had no idea what to say.

"Detective Benson, I want you to make sure that you give me weekly updates on your progress. The moment that you feel you can get around without crutches and your doctors think you could return to desk duty, you let me know. Is that understood?" He asked.

"Yes, sir," she nodded.

"Excellent, now go have fun," and with that the Commissioner went over and bellied up to the bar.

"What was that about?" Elliot asked.

"I think I just got offered a job," Olivia said. He was about to ask more questions when Charlie walked up with a tray full of drinks. Munch directed him over to where Calvin and Charlotte where and the group quickly followed.

"All right, beers for everyone, except for the guests of the Commish. Pop and apple juice for those two," with a wink, Charlie was gone.

"Where did Charlie get apple juice from?" Rollins asked.

"I brought some over before the party. I just didn't tell him that they were for Charlotte," Munch smirked.

"Uncle Munch in the clutch," Calvin chuckled.

"That's right," the elder detective said, giving Calvin a fist bump.

"To Munch. We're going to miss you," Fin lifted his glass.

"To Munch," the group said.

**The End**


End file.
